Building boss Howard Shelley carried out the ultimate DIY conversion by castrating himself.
The 42-year-old dad of two decided on the drastic move after being told he would have to wait at least two years for a sex change.
He found a website which gave a step-by-step guide to the eye-watering home surgery, then waited till wife Janet went out before setting to work with a kitchen knife in the loo.
With the job done, he wrapped his severed appendages in a cloth and dropped them in the bin.
Then he drove five miles to his local GP, explained what he'd done, and was packed off for treatment at the Stoke Mandeville Hospital, near Aylesbury.
Amazingly, three days later he was back at his desk.
Howard, who wants to be known as Holli, said: "It was very painful, but the moment I cut them off I felt all woman.
"I'm the sort of guy who, when I make up my mind to do something, wants it done there and then. I didn't want to be a man any more so I decided to do it myself.
"The worst bit was steeling myself for the first cut. The whole thing took six minutes. It was agony, but I knew I couldn't stop."
He is saving up £5,000 for a full sex-change operation in Thailand. He said: "I want breasts and hips - then I can be a real woman."
ive seen a lot of sick and crazy things but this is the worst of all
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